Ok so lately, I have been noticing a VERY disturbing trend. I keep seeing people writing that they love peoples guts? Now the first time I saw this I spent 20 minutes studying the keyboard on my phone and trying to figure out what word they meant to type. I was certain that it had to be a mistake! However, as time has gone on I have noticed this disgusting thing creeping up all over the place!
So now I ask you - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? When I think of guts, Love is NOT the word that comes to mind . . . gross, disgusting, vile, smelly, bloody, puke, rotten . . . all these things come to mind, but not LOVE!
Now I get these trends . . . they come and go . . . for awhile "bad" was good, and then "phat" was good (not to be confused with Fat which is NEVER good), but now GUTS are good? I am not liking this trend at all . . . where do we go from here . . . I don't even want to think about that.
I just think things have gone too far if people are loving other peoples guts . . . can't you just love their outsides??? Loving the face I get, loving their hair I get . . . but not this!
In my day we had nothing that compared to this - the closest I can come was the descriptive phrase used to describe something that you detested, or that you were very unhappy about . . . "Gag me with a spoon". Now see, we didn't mix our good things like LOVE with our bad things like GUTS.
Now for those of you who were not fortunate enough to live through the greatest era of all time (ie: the 80's) I will give you an example of how to use this fantastic phrase and perhaps you could bring it back and start using it again!
1- Friend: Billy likes you
You: Billy with one eyebrow who wears only the color yellow? Gag me with a spoon
2 - Friend: Miss B assigned a 4200 word essay on the fall of communism
You: oh Gag me with a spoon
3 - Friend: Your parents are chaperoning the dance
You: Gag me with a spoon
4 - Friend: wanna go eat at taco bell?
You: I'd rather you Gag me with a spoon
Now that is a great descriptive term . . . usable in all situations . . . and not nearly as disgusting as gut references.
I have often heard "I hate your guts" which made sense . . . guts and hate went together better in my oppinion. I will admit however, that in order to love someones guts you must love them an awful lot . . . I want nothing to do with any of your guts . . . sorry
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
Crazy Cat Lady
So tonight I was watching tv when a commercial came on. The lady made a comment on updating her cat blog and it made me laugh. But then I started thinking . . . why not blog about cats??? Now some of you are reading this and thinking WHAT? Why in the world would I write about cats? And then there are others of you who are laughing so hard right now you can hardly keep the tears from falling. The difference in the two groups is that group two (who might be close to peeing their pants) has been to my house and seen the INSANITY that makes me feel lie the crazy cat lady.
You see, we have SIX cats . . . yes you read that right . . . SIX!!! First let me say . . . I KNOW! It's completely insane and out of control. The main problem is that we live out of town and I have a HUGE issue with mice, so having cats was always a must. So when we moved into our house we got two cats, and within a few months, one was dead and gone. So we got two more, and they too disappeared. Long story short, over the course of four years we still have the very first cat we brought here, but we have gone through AT LEAST 20 others.
So when the original cat got pregnant last year and my kids begged me to let them keep the kittens, I gave in and said yes. Now in my defense, I legitimately thought that within a few months they would all be dead! I had good reason to think this, as we have a terrible track record with keeping cats alive. However, this group seems to be INVINCIBLE!
NOT ONE has been eaten by a coyote . . . NOT ONE has been wrapped up in the belt of the engine of my car . . . NOT ONE has been run over (by me or anyone else) on the road . . . NOT ONE has disappeared down the badger hole . . . NOT ONE!!!!
I am FREAKING OUT that I may be stuck with all six of these cats forever . . . and they are starting to eat me out of house and home! And they hang out on the porch CONSTANTLY so you have to trip over them every time you walk out the house . . . and if they aren't on the porch when you open the door, they come running! And an even more frightening thought . . . what if they all get pregnant!!! Now I have no idea how many are girls . . . but judging by my luck with this group of cats, I would think at least 4 of the 6. Do the math . . . 4x4 = 16 more kittens!!!!! Oh heaven forbid!
Needless to say . . . I am REALLY sick of these cats . . . so if you know anyone who is in need of a cat, feel free to let me know! I would be happy to make their cat dreams come true . . . and as an added bonus . . . I would LOVE to drop the title of "Crazy Cat Lady"
You see, we have SIX cats . . . yes you read that right . . . SIX!!! First let me say . . . I KNOW! It's completely insane and out of control. The main problem is that we live out of town and I have a HUGE issue with mice, so having cats was always a must. So when we moved into our house we got two cats, and within a few months, one was dead and gone. So we got two more, and they too disappeared. Long story short, over the course of four years we still have the very first cat we brought here, but we have gone through AT LEAST 20 others.
So when the original cat got pregnant last year and my kids begged me to let them keep the kittens, I gave in and said yes. Now in my defense, I legitimately thought that within a few months they would all be dead! I had good reason to think this, as we have a terrible track record with keeping cats alive. However, this group seems to be INVINCIBLE!
NOT ONE has been eaten by a coyote . . . NOT ONE has been wrapped up in the belt of the engine of my car . . . NOT ONE has been run over (by me or anyone else) on the road . . . NOT ONE has disappeared down the badger hole . . . NOT ONE!!!!
I am FREAKING OUT that I may be stuck with all six of these cats forever . . . and they are starting to eat me out of house and home! And they hang out on the porch CONSTANTLY so you have to trip over them every time you walk out the house . . . and if they aren't on the porch when you open the door, they come running! And an even more frightening thought . . . what if they all get pregnant!!! Now I have no idea how many are girls . . . but judging by my luck with this group of cats, I would think at least 4 of the 6. Do the math . . . 4x4 = 16 more kittens!!!!! Oh heaven forbid!
Needless to say . . . I am REALLY sick of these cats . . . so if you know anyone who is in need of a cat, feel free to let me know! I would be happy to make their cat dreams come true . . . and as an added bonus . . . I would LOVE to drop the title of "Crazy Cat Lady"
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Am I having a flashback?
K so lately I am thinking I stepped back in time to somewhere in the 1980's! Is anyone else noticing this?
My kids are watching transformers and carebears! Granted the graphics are much better now, and the tv they watch them on is much bigger than the TV we had when I was growing up . . . Some of you remember - the 54 inch console that housed a 19 inch screen! One other major difference is the new versions are on like every day, while their 80's counterparts were only on Saturday mornings! Lucky kids!
And its not just TV, its music too! Every time I turn on the radio lately there is an 80's remake playing! Personally I see no reason to remake something that was perfect the first time! If there was one thing I wouldn't change about the 80's it would definitely be the music.
And if there was one thing I wouldn't bring back it would be the clothes! Man we were fashion challenged back then. . . But here they are again! ARE YOU KIDDING! Can you not see how terrible those clothes were! Leg warmers??? They are horrible! What was that all about anyway?? I didn't get it then and I don't get it now!(even if I did have a few pair of my own . .. Red and purple lol) And skinny jeans? Sorry but I have yet to see anyone in two decades that looked good in those! To top it off, just the other day I saw a picture of Katie Holmes and she had pegged her pants! Wow! It makes me laugh just thinking about it.
Oh the good old 80's - so much good . . . So much not good! As long as girls don't go back to ratting their hair to the celing and using an entire bottle of aquanet to hold it, then I think we can handle a little flashback to the good old days (I feel old just writing that).
Anyway, next time you buy an outfit or hear a new song, its quite possible that I once wore an exact copy, or made out to the original . . . Not a pretty thought! Well I have to go now . . . Time to watch the new 90210!
My kids are watching transformers and carebears! Granted the graphics are much better now, and the tv they watch them on is much bigger than the TV we had when I was growing up . . . Some of you remember - the 54 inch console that housed a 19 inch screen! One other major difference is the new versions are on like every day, while their 80's counterparts were only on Saturday mornings! Lucky kids!
And its not just TV, its music too! Every time I turn on the radio lately there is an 80's remake playing! Personally I see no reason to remake something that was perfect the first time! If there was one thing I wouldn't change about the 80's it would definitely be the music.
And if there was one thing I wouldn't bring back it would be the clothes! Man we were fashion challenged back then. . . But here they are again! ARE YOU KIDDING! Can you not see how terrible those clothes were! Leg warmers??? They are horrible! What was that all about anyway?? I didn't get it then and I don't get it now!(even if I did have a few pair of my own . .. Red and purple lol) And skinny jeans? Sorry but I have yet to see anyone in two decades that looked good in those! To top it off, just the other day I saw a picture of Katie Holmes and she had pegged her pants! Wow! It makes me laugh just thinking about it.
Oh the good old 80's - so much good . . . So much not good! As long as girls don't go back to ratting their hair to the celing and using an entire bottle of aquanet to hold it, then I think we can handle a little flashback to the good old days (I feel old just writing that).
Anyway, next time you buy an outfit or hear a new song, its quite possible that I once wore an exact copy, or made out to the original . . . Not a pretty thought! Well I have to go now . . . Time to watch the new 90210!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Enriched and covered in snow
So tonight I went to this meeting where there were a bunch of women learning stuff that would "enrich" our lives . . . but I don't think I was enriched and will probably be banned since I sat and made jokes to the person sitting next to me all night. It probably would have been ok, except the person sitting next to me kept laughing out loud. It was obvious that she is a nicer person than me and hasn't had much practice at "pretending" to listen while silently laughing your guts out (Miss BYU knows what I am talking about!) Sometimes it's hard to do . . . and I think it is a real talent, obviously one that few people have and I will be more selective in the future about who I tell my jokes too during serious meeting time!
Well, this meeting include information on being prepared and a little thing called a 72 hour kit - all I know was that the bags were WAY to small to hold all the stuff I would need to survive 72 hours . . . I am thinking I need something a little more in the neighborhood of a rolling suitcase! I mean . . . those little backpacks barely hold all the food, let alone a cute pair of shoes, all my makeup, three books (cause that's how many I would read in three days), and some scrapbook supplies in case I get bored. And what's with the one change of clothes??? Three days and one outfit?? I'm thinking you better back a butt load of perfume and deodorant if that's the case! And then there was the food . . . not I might be a bit of a pig, but that food she laid out wouldn't get me through ONE day let alone three!!! I'm gonna be eating dirt soup if that's the case. And three days requires at least a 12 pack of diet pepsi so you better be finding room for that. . . along with my DVD player and 12 movies, my ipod, cell phone charger, and some bubble bath. Now THAT'S a 72 hour kit I can get behind!
So, once the meeting was over, I stepped outside, only to be completely blindsided by SNOW. Man I didn't see that coming . . . I hate snow. It makes me miserable. I came home thinking that a move to Texas just might not be so bad! So the snow was bad enough to RUIN my night, but then I came home and found out we had a new president. . . I guess the snow was just the aftermath of Hell freezing over. . .
I'm thinking the only thing this will be good for is my blog, cause now I'm thinking I will have LOTS to complain about for the next four years. . .
I hope this has been "enriching" for you . . .
Well, this meeting include information on being prepared and a little thing called a 72 hour kit - all I know was that the bags were WAY to small to hold all the stuff I would need to survive 72 hours . . . I am thinking I need something a little more in the neighborhood of a rolling suitcase! I mean . . . those little backpacks barely hold all the food, let alone a cute pair of shoes, all my makeup, three books (cause that's how many I would read in three days), and some scrapbook supplies in case I get bored. And what's with the one change of clothes??? Three days and one outfit?? I'm thinking you better back a butt load of perfume and deodorant if that's the case! And then there was the food . . . not I might be a bit of a pig, but that food she laid out wouldn't get me through ONE day let alone three!!! I'm gonna be eating dirt soup if that's the case. And three days requires at least a 12 pack of diet pepsi so you better be finding room for that. . . along with my DVD player and 12 movies, my ipod, cell phone charger, and some bubble bath. Now THAT'S a 72 hour kit I can get behind!
So, once the meeting was over, I stepped outside, only to be completely blindsided by SNOW. Man I didn't see that coming . . . I hate snow. It makes me miserable. I came home thinking that a move to Texas just might not be so bad! So the snow was bad enough to RUIN my night, but then I came home and found out we had a new president. . . I guess the snow was just the aftermath of Hell freezing over. . .
I'm thinking the only thing this will be good for is my blog, cause now I'm thinking I will have LOTS to complain about for the next four years. . .
I hope this has been "enriching" for you . . .
Monday, November 3, 2008
Boring Day
Well, today was a VERY boring day! I only left my house for a few minutes all day, and the only people I talked to in person were family . . . so you might think it would be hard for me to find something to complain about today . . . NOPE! It's not hard at all - in fact, I may have several topics by the time I'm through!
First - I'm not a huge fan of Daylight Savings Time. I don't HATE it in the fall, but only because I get to sleep in an hour on that one day . . . I DO hate it in the spring . . . because it always seems to fall during my vacation and takes an hour of Disneyland away from me and that makes me REALLY mad! Some people love it, what with having light in the morning when they get up and all . . . but I don't love it! In fact . . . all that sunlight streaming through my window when I woke up this morning about gave me a freakin heart attack!! I'm just not used to it being that bright when I get the kids up for the day and at first I thought I had forgotten to set my alarm (wouldn't be the first time) and my daughter had missed the bus! It was NOT a nice way to wake up! Then, all the sudden I looked out the window and it's getting dark! Oh crap . . . I forgot to start dinner . . . again . . . but when I look at the clock it's only 5:30! I hate this time change. It's been dark for three hours by the time I put the kids to bed and I feel like I should be in bed too!
The only nice thing about it was last night . . . when I put the kids to bed and 7 and reasoned that it was really 8 on their "internal body clock" - isn't that terrible?
Ultimately, it's just so dang confusing! Which states are on it and which states are not? If I go to Arizona in May is it an hour behind or an hour ahead or is it the same time . . . or is it a different state that doesn't observe it?? See what I mean about being confused! I have enough trouble trying to figure out central vs eastern and mountain vs pacific! And then, I never even know when it's coming! Heck, if it weren't for a random conversation with my brother the night before, I would have been an hour early to everything for two days . . . or is it an hour late??? Oh who knows . . .
. . . see why I needed a blog . . . so much to say about NOTHING!
First - I'm not a huge fan of Daylight Savings Time. I don't HATE it in the fall, but only because I get to sleep in an hour on that one day . . . I DO hate it in the spring . . . because it always seems to fall during my vacation and takes an hour of Disneyland away from me and that makes me REALLY mad! Some people love it, what with having light in the morning when they get up and all . . . but I don't love it! In fact . . . all that sunlight streaming through my window when I woke up this morning about gave me a freakin heart attack!! I'm just not used to it being that bright when I get the kids up for the day and at first I thought I had forgotten to set my alarm (wouldn't be the first time) and my daughter had missed the bus! It was NOT a nice way to wake up! Then, all the sudden I looked out the window and it's getting dark! Oh crap . . . I forgot to start dinner . . . again . . . but when I look at the clock it's only 5:30! I hate this time change. It's been dark for three hours by the time I put the kids to bed and I feel like I should be in bed too!
The only nice thing about it was last night . . . when I put the kids to bed and 7 and reasoned that it was really 8 on their "internal body clock" - isn't that terrible?
Ultimately, it's just so dang confusing! Which states are on it and which states are not? If I go to Arizona in May is it an hour behind or an hour ahead or is it the same time . . . or is it a different state that doesn't observe it?? See what I mean about being confused! I have enough trouble trying to figure out central vs eastern and mountain vs pacific! And then, I never even know when it's coming! Heck, if it weren't for a random conversation with my brother the night before, I would have been an hour early to everything for two days . . . or is it an hour late??? Oh who knows . . .
. . . see why I needed a blog . . . so much to say about NOTHING!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Happy Day/Sick Day
Well, today started off in the WORST possible way. There I was . . . sleeping peacefully, dreaming of being the guy who touches things and they turn to skittles, when BAM . . . three a.m. and someone put a taffy puller in my stomach and turned it on! Oh great . . . I know this feeling. I've had it before . . . FOOD POISONING! Man am I starting to regret letting the family eat at McDonald's. And even more, I am regretting the "healthy" choice of grilled chicken instead of the crispy chicken. I knew that thing didn't look right.
So thanks to some Larry at McDonald's, I am now suffering in pain, tossing to and fro in the bed, and making FREQUENT trips to the bathroom. . . NONE of which my dear sweet husband even notices. How is it even possible that he can sleep through that? I tried to be really loud and obnoxious with my moans of pain . . . I figured if I must suffer, why not have company, but it didn't work. He woke fresh as a daisy after his 12 hours of sleep and asked if I was getting up today!!!! Are you kidding me? "Did you not notice my 30 trips to the bathroom last night? Can you not see I am in pain?" Nope . . . but are you going to church with us? Sometimes men are so pathetic.
The answer is no . . . I am not going to church with you - but take the kids and have a blast! No such luck - the baby is staying with me. It has always amazed me that I have the ability to handle all three kids by myself, but my DSH (dear sweet husband) has trouble with one at a time. So with the first group out of the house, I lie down to suffer some more. Unable to eat, I contemplate how my problem began . . . at McDonald's. Now, maybe I am being overly harsh, but how hard can it POSSIBLY be to cook a piece of process chicken to the proper temperature and serve it to the masses? It's not like working at McD's requires a degree or anything, so I don't expect much, but can it really be that hard? Obviously it is . . . and I vow that we are NOT eating at that McDonald's anytime soon, and no amount of crying from the kids (or the husband for that matter) is going to change my mind.
A few hours later the crew is home, and the house is now a disaster. My DSH comes into the bathroom as I am running a bath and asks if I am on vacation today . . . REALLY? Did he REALLY just ask me that? He is lucky I didn't have anything handy that could have been considered a lethal weapon! So this brings me to another question for the ages . . . why is it that when a man is sick, it's ok for him to lie in bed and cry out for you to pamper him and baby him all day . . . oh and can you please keep the kids quiet? My head hurts . . . but when a WOMAN is sick - it's a vacation to have a bath???? So after I let him know that the taffy puller in my stomach was not my idea of a vacation, I took my bath . . . after which he asked me what was for dinner. AHHHHHHH!!!!! Are you freaking kidding me??? I guess the bath should have cured all my woes. Anyway . . . I told him that I wasn't eating since I still felt like crap, so they could all have what I was having. An hour later he started fixing dinner . . . and I being the dutiful wife, helped.
So . . . there is my gripe for today . . . Larry Losers at McDonald's and a husband who thinks me being sick can only last a portion of the day before I get back to taking care of everyone.
Now for the HAPPY DAY stuff - this day could have been a total and utter failure, except for the fact that the Miami Dolphins won against the Denver Broncos. After years of teams that left me feeling a lot like I did because of the food poisoning, things are finally starting to look up. And we beat the team that the rest of my wonderful family loves, which makes the win so much sweeter (sorry family . . . it's not personal!) Dolphins win! Dolphins win! Dolphins win! Ah that makes me happy . . . so much so, that I think I will forgive McDonald's . . . and my husband :)
So thanks to some Larry at McDonald's, I am now suffering in pain, tossing to and fro in the bed, and making FREQUENT trips to the bathroom. . . NONE of which my dear sweet husband even notices. How is it even possible that he can sleep through that? I tried to be really loud and obnoxious with my moans of pain . . . I figured if I must suffer, why not have company, but it didn't work. He woke fresh as a daisy after his 12 hours of sleep and asked if I was getting up today!!!! Are you kidding me? "Did you not notice my 30 trips to the bathroom last night? Can you not see I am in pain?" Nope . . . but are you going to church with us? Sometimes men are so pathetic.
The answer is no . . . I am not going to church with you - but take the kids and have a blast! No such luck - the baby is staying with me. It has always amazed me that I have the ability to handle all three kids by myself, but my DSH (dear sweet husband) has trouble with one at a time. So with the first group out of the house, I lie down to suffer some more. Unable to eat, I contemplate how my problem began . . . at McDonald's. Now, maybe I am being overly harsh, but how hard can it POSSIBLY be to cook a piece of process chicken to the proper temperature and serve it to the masses? It's not like working at McD's requires a degree or anything, so I don't expect much, but can it really be that hard? Obviously it is . . . and I vow that we are NOT eating at that McDonald's anytime soon, and no amount of crying from the kids (or the husband for that matter) is going to change my mind.
A few hours later the crew is home, and the house is now a disaster. My DSH comes into the bathroom as I am running a bath and asks if I am on vacation today . . . REALLY? Did he REALLY just ask me that? He is lucky I didn't have anything handy that could have been considered a lethal weapon! So this brings me to another question for the ages . . . why is it that when a man is sick, it's ok for him to lie in bed and cry out for you to pamper him and baby him all day . . . oh and can you please keep the kids quiet? My head hurts . . . but when a WOMAN is sick - it's a vacation to have a bath???? So after I let him know that the taffy puller in my stomach was not my idea of a vacation, I took my bath . . . after which he asked me what was for dinner. AHHHHHHH!!!!! Are you freaking kidding me??? I guess the bath should have cured all my woes. Anyway . . . I told him that I wasn't eating since I still felt like crap, so they could all have what I was having. An hour later he started fixing dinner . . . and I being the dutiful wife, helped.
So . . . there is my gripe for today . . . Larry Losers at McDonald's and a husband who thinks me being sick can only last a portion of the day before I get back to taking care of everyone.
Now for the HAPPY DAY stuff - this day could have been a total and utter failure, except for the fact that the Miami Dolphins won against the Denver Broncos. After years of teams that left me feeling a lot like I did because of the food poisoning, things are finally starting to look up. And we beat the team that the rest of my wonderful family loves, which makes the win so much sweeter (sorry family . . . it's not personal!) Dolphins win! Dolphins win! Dolphins win! Ah that makes me happy . . . so much so, that I think I will forgive McDonald's . . . and my husband :)
Saturday, November 1, 2008
First Time Blogger - Meet Larry the Looser
Well, here I am . . . doing exactly what I said I would never do, and that is have a blog. In my defense, I am only creating this blog for the purpose of voicing all the complaints I have, and there are many! I usually complain to live people but for some reason, none of them will take my calls anymore??? Just kidding! Only a few of them won't take my calls. So the next best thing to talking to actual people must be typing all your thoughts and putting them out there for the world to read right? Of course I'm right . . . that was a rhetorical question. One thing I am sure of, is that I am ALWAYS right (at least in my mind) so don't bother disagreeing with me on ANY point, cause I don't care and I won't listen to your arguments! Why? I don't have to . . . and honestly. . . anything I write on here is just a bunch of crap anyway! I don't know why anyone would read it more or less comment on it!
So there it is . . . the purpose of my blog is . . . there is no purpose! Now that we have established that, lets get started with something that has been bugging me for WEEKS!
It all started on a day when my youngest child got extremely upset with me and decided to cry himself into a frenzy and procedeed to puke all over his carseat. Go ahead . . . laugh . . . it's funny now, even if it wasn't funny then. So, after the puking incident, I took said child home and unloaded the carseat from the car. Now let me tell you that this is no ordinary car seat - it's a high dollar Wal-mart number! I know your impressed, but try to contain your jealousy while I finish my story. After removing the carseat, I carried it in the house, but not without puke dripping out the bottom of the carseat and onto my bare toes (wearing sandles of course). Now I know that you are dry heaving at the thought of this and I assure you, I was dry heaving as it occured! It was nearly the grossest thing ever and I immediately soaked my feet in the hottest water I could get from my water heater. Once the initial burning subsided, I went back to my carseat cleaning.
THIS is where my complaint comes in . . . see you thought I was complaining about puking kids but no! I am used to that . . . and there is no point in complaining. I'm pretty sure they do it just to iritate me so complaining would only make it worse. No, my complaint is about the carseat. First of all, I want to know who the MORON is who designed a carseat that required a degree in rocket science to take apart! Really? Did the idiots in carseat design sit down and try to figure out the hardest POSSIBLE way to put the seat together so that it could not be taken apart without a 20 page "disassembly guide" - which may I point out DID NOT come with the carseat, but I am sure for an additional $49.95 I could purchase one on the internet. Did they at no point in their design phase sit down and think, "Now, I'm sure one day there will come a time when this fabric portion of the seat will need to be removed for washing, so how can we make that possible with the least frustration for the buyer." NOPE - not a consideration apparantly. Obviously no one who designed the seat has children, or they would have known that WHEN (notice I did not say if!) a child pukes in the seat it will have to be REMOVED to be WASHED! There is no such thing as "spot cleaning" puke. Unless you enjoy that scent in your car everytime you open the door, then of course, by all means spot clean!
So finally, after the first 20 minutes of cussing someone who I will call Larry the Looser, I figured out how to remove the first section of the padding only to find out that section two of the padding is even more securly fastened to the seat! By the time I finally removed all the fabric, I had removed four little clippy things, four screws (yeah that's right SCREWS!), a metal bar contraption, several elastic things (two of which had to be CUT because someone thought that running them into a space that was impossible to reach with human fingers was a good idea), I FINALLY got the fabric into the washing machine. Exhausted and frustrated, I put my scissors away and put the screws aside to put back in later, and about this time I realized that I had no idea how to put it back together. I guess I should have taken notes instead of cussing Larry the Looser.
After a thorough cleaning and re-attaching the 10,000 parts that had to be removed in order to take out the fabric (I'm pretty sure they were all in the right place and I didn't have any parts left over so that was a good sign), I reinstalled the seat into the van. It's not quite the same and I have some regrets for cutting those two elastic bands in frustration. You see, now everytime I put my son in the seat, I have to lift him up two or three times to get the fabric back down into the seat since it doesn't stay down anymore. So everytime I put him into the seat I get mad again at the idiot who didn't build it with some common sense. Thanks Larry . . . your such a looser.
So there it is . . . the purpose of my blog is . . . there is no purpose! Now that we have established that, lets get started with something that has been bugging me for WEEKS!
It all started on a day when my youngest child got extremely upset with me and decided to cry himself into a frenzy and procedeed to puke all over his carseat. Go ahead . . . laugh . . . it's funny now, even if it wasn't funny then. So, after the puking incident, I took said child home and unloaded the carseat from the car. Now let me tell you that this is no ordinary car seat - it's a high dollar Wal-mart number! I know your impressed, but try to contain your jealousy while I finish my story. After removing the carseat, I carried it in the house, but not without puke dripping out the bottom of the carseat and onto my bare toes (wearing sandles of course). Now I know that you are dry heaving at the thought of this and I assure you, I was dry heaving as it occured! It was nearly the grossest thing ever and I immediately soaked my feet in the hottest water I could get from my water heater. Once the initial burning subsided, I went back to my carseat cleaning.
THIS is where my complaint comes in . . . see you thought I was complaining about puking kids but no! I am used to that . . . and there is no point in complaining. I'm pretty sure they do it just to iritate me so complaining would only make it worse. No, my complaint is about the carseat. First of all, I want to know who the MORON is who designed a carseat that required a degree in rocket science to take apart! Really? Did the idiots in carseat design sit down and try to figure out the hardest POSSIBLE way to put the seat together so that it could not be taken apart without a 20 page "disassembly guide" - which may I point out DID NOT come with the carseat, but I am sure for an additional $49.95 I could purchase one on the internet. Did they at no point in their design phase sit down and think, "Now, I'm sure one day there will come a time when this fabric portion of the seat will need to be removed for washing, so how can we make that possible with the least frustration for the buyer." NOPE - not a consideration apparantly. Obviously no one who designed the seat has children, or they would have known that WHEN (notice I did not say if!) a child pukes in the seat it will have to be REMOVED to be WASHED! There is no such thing as "spot cleaning" puke. Unless you enjoy that scent in your car everytime you open the door, then of course, by all means spot clean!
So finally, after the first 20 minutes of cussing someone who I will call Larry the Looser, I figured out how to remove the first section of the padding only to find out that section two of the padding is even more securly fastened to the seat! By the time I finally removed all the fabric, I had removed four little clippy things, four screws (yeah that's right SCREWS!), a metal bar contraption, several elastic things (two of which had to be CUT because someone thought that running them into a space that was impossible to reach with human fingers was a good idea), I FINALLY got the fabric into the washing machine. Exhausted and frustrated, I put my scissors away and put the screws aside to put back in later, and about this time I realized that I had no idea how to put it back together. I guess I should have taken notes instead of cussing Larry the Looser.
After a thorough cleaning and re-attaching the 10,000 parts that had to be removed in order to take out the fabric (I'm pretty sure they were all in the right place and I didn't have any parts left over so that was a good sign), I reinstalled the seat into the van. It's not quite the same and I have some regrets for cutting those two elastic bands in frustration. You see, now everytime I put my son in the seat, I have to lift him up two or three times to get the fabric back down into the seat since it doesn't stay down anymore. So everytime I put him into the seat I get mad again at the idiot who didn't build it with some common sense. Thanks Larry . . . your such a looser.
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