First Time Blogger - Meet Larry the Looser

Well, here I am . . . doing exactly what I said I would never do, and that is have a blog. In my defense, I am only creating this blog for the purpose of voicing all the complaints I have, and there are many! I usually complain to live people but for some reason, none of them will take my calls anymore??? Just kidding! Only a few of them won't take my calls. So the next best thing to talking to actual people must be typing all your thoughts and putting them out there for the world to read right? Of course I'm right . . . that was a rhetorical question. One thing I am sure of, is that I am ALWAYS right (at least in my mind) so don't bother disagreeing with me on ANY point, cause I don't care and I won't listen to your arguments! Why? I don't have to . . . and honestly. . . anything I write on here is just a bunch of crap anyway! I don't know why anyone would read it more or less comment on it!

So there it is . . . the purpose of my blog is . . . there is no purpose! Now that we have established that, lets get started with something that has been bugging me for WEEKS!

It all started on a day when my youngest child got extremely upset with me and decided to cry himself into a frenzy and procedeed to puke all over his carseat. Go ahead . . . laugh . . . it's funny now, even if it wasn't funny then. So, after the puking incident, I took said child home and unloaded the carseat from the car. Now let me tell you that this is no ordinary car seat - it's a high dollar Wal-mart number! I know your impressed, but try to contain your jealousy while I finish my story. After removing the carseat, I carried it in the house, but not without puke dripping out the bottom of the carseat and onto my bare toes (wearing sandles of course). Now I know that you are dry heaving at the thought of this and I assure you, I was dry heaving as it occured! It was nearly the grossest thing ever and I immediately soaked my feet in the hottest water I could get from my water heater. Once the initial burning subsided, I went back to my carseat cleaning.

THIS is where my complaint comes in . . . see you thought I was complaining about puking kids but no! I am used to that . . . and there is no point in complaining. I'm pretty sure they do it just to iritate me so complaining would only make it worse. No, my complaint is about the carseat. First of all, I want to know who the MORON is who designed a carseat that required a degree in rocket science to take apart! Really? Did the idiots in carseat design sit down and try to figure out the hardest POSSIBLE way to put the seat together so that it could not be taken apart without a 20 page "disassembly guide" - which may I point out DID NOT come with the carseat, but I am sure for an additional $49.95 I could purchase one on the internet. Did they at no point in their design phase sit down and think, "Now, I'm sure one day there will come a time when this fabric portion of the seat will need to be removed for washing, so how can we make that possible with the least frustration for the buyer." NOPE - not a consideration apparantly. Obviously no one who designed the seat has children, or they would have known that WHEN (notice I did not say if!) a child pukes in the seat it will have to be REMOVED to be WASHED! There is no such thing as "spot cleaning" puke. Unless you enjoy that scent in your car everytime you open the door, then of course, by all means spot clean!

So finally, after the first 20 minutes of cussing someone who I will call Larry the Looser, I figured out how to remove the first section of the padding only to find out that section two of the padding is even more securly fastened to the seat! By the time I finally removed all the fabric, I had removed four little clippy things, four screws (yeah that's right SCREWS!), a metal bar contraption, several elastic things (two of which had to be CUT because someone thought that running them into a space that was impossible to reach with human fingers was a good idea), I FINALLY got the fabric into the washing machine. Exhausted and frustrated, I put my scissors away and put the screws aside to put back in later, and about this time I realized that I had no idea how to put it back together. I guess I should have taken notes instead of cussing Larry the Looser.

After a thorough cleaning and re-attaching the 10,000 parts that had to be removed in order to take out the fabric (I'm pretty sure they were all in the right place and I didn't have any parts left over so that was a good sign), I reinstalled the seat into the van. It's not quite the same and I have some regrets for cutting those two elastic bands in frustration. You see, now everytime I put my son in the seat, I have to lift him up two or three times to get the fabric back down into the seat since it doesn't stay down anymore. So everytime I put him into the seat I get mad again at the idiot who didn't build it with some common sense. Thanks Larry . . . your such a looser.