Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Love your WHAT?

Ok so lately, I have been noticing a VERY disturbing trend. I keep seeing people writing that they love peoples guts? Now the first time I saw this I spent 20 minutes studying the keyboard on my phone and trying to figure out what word they meant to type. I was certain that it had to be a mistake! However, as time has gone on I have noticed this disgusting thing creeping up all over the place!

So now I ask you - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? When I think of guts, Love is NOT the word that comes to mind . . . gross, disgusting, vile, smelly, bloody, puke, rotten . . . all these things come to mind, but not LOVE!

Now I get these trends . . . they come and go . . . for awhile "bad" was good, and then "phat" was good (not to be confused with Fat which is NEVER good), but now GUTS are good? I am not liking this trend at all . . . where do we go from here . . . I don't even want to think about that.

I just think things have gone too far if people are loving other peoples guts . . . can't you just love their outsides??? Loving the face I get, loving their hair I get . . . but not this!

In my day we had nothing that compared to this - the closest I can come was the descriptive phrase used to describe something that you detested, or that you were very unhappy about . . . "Gag me with a spoon". Now see, we didn't mix our good things like LOVE with our bad things like GUTS.

Now for those of you who were not fortunate enough to live through the greatest era of all time (ie: the 80's) I will give you an example of how to use this fantastic phrase and perhaps you could bring it back and start using it again!

1- Friend: Billy likes you
You: Billy with one eyebrow who wears only the color yellow? Gag me with a spoon

2 - Friend: Miss B assigned a 4200 word essay on the fall of communism
You: oh Gag me with a spoon

3 - Friend: Your parents are chaperoning the dance
You: Gag me with a spoon

4 - Friend: wanna go eat at taco bell?
You: I'd rather you Gag me with a spoon

Now that is a great descriptive term . . . usable in all situations . . . and not nearly as disgusting as gut references.

I have often heard "I hate your guts" which made sense . . . guts and hate went together better in my oppinion. I will admit however, that in order to love someones guts you must love them an awful lot . . . I want nothing to do with any of your guts . . . sorry

Friday, January 2, 2009

Crazy Cat Lady

So tonight I was watching tv when a commercial came on. The lady made a comment on updating her cat blog and it made me laugh. But then I started thinking . . . why not blog about cats??? Now some of you are reading this and thinking WHAT? Why in the world would I write about cats? And then there are others of you who are laughing so hard right now you can hardly keep the tears from falling. The difference in the two groups is that group two (who might be close to peeing their pants) has been to my house and seen the INSANITY that makes me feel lie the crazy cat lady.

You see, we have SIX cats . . . yes you read that right . . . SIX!!! First let me say . . . I KNOW! It's completely insane and out of control. The main problem is that we live out of town and I have a HUGE issue with mice, so having cats was always a must. So when we moved into our house we got two cats, and within a few months, one was dead and gone. So we got two more, and they too disappeared. Long story short, over the course of four years we still have the very first cat we brought here, but we have gone through AT LEAST 20 others.

So when the original cat got pregnant last year and my kids begged me to let them keep the kittens, I gave in and said yes. Now in my defense, I legitimately thought that within a few months they would all be dead! I had good reason to think this, as we have a terrible track record with keeping cats alive. However, this group seems to be INVINCIBLE!

NOT ONE has been eaten by a coyote . . . NOT ONE has been wrapped up in the belt of the engine of my car . . . NOT ONE has been run over (by me or anyone else) on the road . . . NOT ONE has disappeared down the badger hole . . . NOT ONE!!!!

I am FREAKING OUT that I may be stuck with all six of these cats forever . . . and they are starting to eat me out of house and home! And they hang out on the porch CONSTANTLY so you have to trip over them every time you walk out the house . . . and if they aren't on the porch when you open the door, they come running! And an even more frightening thought . . . what if they all get pregnant!!! Now I have no idea how many are girls . . . but judging by my luck with this group of cats, I would think at least 4 of the 6. Do the math . . . 4x4 = 16 more kittens!!!!! Oh heaven forbid!

Needless to say . . . I am REALLY sick of these cats . . . so if you know anyone who is in need of a cat, feel free to let me know! I would be happy to make their cat dreams come true . . . and as an added bonus . . . I would LOVE to drop the title of "Crazy Cat Lady"